Motivation (lack of), is it the Problem???

Based on a conversation between my daughter and me, I thought it would be a good idea to ask our readers to join us as we rethink the reasons why we procrastinate, and then complain because we are not getting things done. We always hear women say, “I can’t do what I need to because I have no motivation.”

​Well Queens, based on my experience as a therapist, motivation is not your problem! All of our lives we’ve been told, get motivated or you need motivation, when this is not the answer at all. A question that I ask my clients all the time is, "How can you get motivated to do something you don’t want to do in the first place?" Think about that for a second….it is not possible unless you are literally, uncomfortably forcing yourself; that is not what motivation is.

I would like to share some suggestions that I think would be helpful. The suggestions are put into a scenario which is as follows:

“Imagine that you have to go food shopping, at 10 am tomorrow. Start working toward the task by preparing the evening before. For example, a) after dinner, ‘woosa’ – spend some time relaxing, taking a shower, etc.; b) decide what you are going to wear, iron if necessary, and lay everything out so they are ready to easily slip on; c) once you’ve completed all of that, spend a few minutes writing out your list; d) then go to bed with the intentions of getting up at least an hour earlier than your intended time to leave home; e) when you wake up, go through your regular routine (brush your teeth, eat breakfast, etc.), all while keeping your eye on the clock; f) remind yourself that you have an hour before you need to head out, then remind yourself that you have 45 minutes, then a half hour, then 15 minutes. At the 15-minute mark, begin gathering your things and walking through the door.”

Experience has shown that me (and my clients) that preparation is key. Preparing for a particular event or task makes getting things done so much easier. We don’t like all that life throws our way so we are going to run into things that we simply don’t want to do; using the method of preparation doesn’t make doing what we don’t want any more desirable, but it makes it much more tolerable, stress-free, and we get things done in a timely ​manner without the last minute rush. So ladies, try this and please come back and let us know how it worked for you. Oh, and if you or someone you know is in need of some assistance in working through some of the issues that may have them feeling stagnant, please click here I may be able to help!

Queendom rising....